Tea & Fleur De lis : February 2015

So far 4 months takes the cake for my favorite age!!

All of a sudden as the days counted down to 4 months Harrison became this little person. I don't even know if I can explain it. It was like he had all the beginnings to things (like grabbing, rolling, etc..) and then BAM he can do them!! He now can accurately grab things with two hands rather than swiping and missing. I mean it was pretty cute to watch, but it is amazing to see him grab things! My favorite developmental step thus far! He always brings everything to his mouth, that is not new! My mom says he constantly has his mouth open.... she is not wrong! A good portion of the time there are squeals, pitch changes, babbling, and of course general loudness coming out of his mouth. He has been playing with the pitch and volume of his voice and screeches then changes the level and smiles, like hey did ya hear that?? I DID that!! Don't be fooled, he.is.loud. Cute, but loud!!

Here are some things that have happened in Harrison's 4th month of life!!

- Successful grabbing. With two hands. Straight.to.the.mouth! DUH!

- Rolling from front to back consistently and has been for a longggg time!

- Began rolling from back to front (this is really for the next post, but I was too excited so I had to share it in his 4 month)

- Screeches and smiles

- fake coughs and smiles

- smiles smiles smiles. Did I mention how smiley he is?!!? This little gummy mouth melts my heart alllllll the way to goop! It is amazing how a sweet smile from my sweet boy just makes all the bad in the world go away!

- Lots and lots of talking and babbling! No words yet, but lots of fun (sometimes too loud) sounds. I can't say I am surprised though, of course my child would be loud and talking - talking all the time!

- 15lbs 4oz 26 inches long (read more below on his 4 month check up)

- He can't sit by himself when you put him into the sit position. He will topple over after a while, so be prepared!

- He officially held on to Liuzza and it about made her life! She froze and was just like "oh my gosh he is touching me. He is finally touching me!! He DOES have a purpose!!" It was very sweet!

- two words: sleep training... read more below. Basically this is how we spent this wonderful 4th month of life!

- Harrison attended his first Mardi Gras and helped himself to lots of partying!! He was a champ!

- We had a boot camp reunion & he got to meet the ladies he knew when they were in their mommies bellies: Kennedy & Junia

- He began little gym. Every Friday with Sofia & Christina we go to little gym!

- We started belly naps & have learned that he loves to sleep on his side. Can't quite get there, but loves it!

4 Month Checkup.... (read: Mommy low moment)

Okay, so I am writing this now with a week of clear headedness so bear with me. I have moved on and realized that I definitely got way more upset than needed. I cannot explain to you how it feels to be the one person who feeds your child. It is the most magical, empowering, frustrating, amazing, confusing, and down right phenomenal thing I have ever done. To know that my body makes the goodness that keeps my baby growing is unthinkable. I am so grateful everyday for this ability because breastfeeding is damn hard! When it is going well you are on top of the world, when your baby fusses at the boob you immediately start sweating, getting nervous, and second guessing everything. Is he getting enough nourishment? why isn't he eating? what is wrong with my milk? is he going to grow? and so on and so forth. There are so many emotions mixed up in breastfeeding, I cant even begin to bring you down that road. Anywhooo at his 4 month check up Harrison weighed 15lb 4oz. He has consistently been in the 90th percentile since his first weigh in. Well surprise mommy, he has dropped to the 60th!!! He did not lose weight, he just did not gain as rapidly as he has. I cannot tell you why that is. Now my mind thinks that he may be evening out and not gaining as rapidly as he has or maybe he is moving more. I am not sure. But when I heard Dr. O say those words my heart dropped and I only heard half of what he said. Good thing Christopher was there because I most definitely convinced myself that his brain wasn't going to develop. When in actuality that was a whole 'nother conversion about poly-vi-sol and brain development. Long story short, Dr. O wanted me to shake up my schedule and have him nurse every 2.5 hours now instead of 3. And we needed to wake him up for a dream feed in the middle of the night. Well there is nothing dreamy about a dream feed for H. He wakes up the second you pick him up and was wide awake for a good hour after you put him down. He ate most nights when Christopher gave him his bottle, and I pumped while I tried not to fall asleep. Man it was like having a newborn again. And frankly I found it stupid. I am just being honest. I do not see the point in waking a perfectly happy sleeping baby. Who as a result was not sleeping as well anymore! We dream fed for a week, then decided that it wasn't for us. As far as the daily nursing schedule I have made a point to be more flexible. A combo of a 3 hr schedule and nursing on demand. He is not always hungry to eat at 2.5 hours. But when he is, I let him! We go to see the lactation consultant (who did not seem worried when I called her) tomorrow. Then we go back to Dr. O in 3 weeks (4 weeks from the weigh in) to get his weight again. So there you have it, my mommy roller coaster of emotions!!!

There were many a lesson learned from this experience, but the biggest one I took away was to "roll with it." I have this crazy urge to read and read and read and find a solution to every "problem." Well ladies and gents life doesn't fit into a little solvable box, and parenting sure as hell can't even begin to think about fitting in that box. I am learning that every day my baby is a different baby, every day he needs something in a different way and I can't expect to find the answers anywhere but within myself and by staying in tune with Harrison. I know I wont get it right every time and who knows if I am doing right by him with my choices. But I have to know that I am doing the best I can, and that is all I can do. I can't make Harrison fit the mold of a friends baby or that of a story I read. I need to know that Harrison fits Harrison's mold and that is just perfect!

Sleep Training!!

Oh good lawd this is how we spent a bulk of this month! Harrison had been going down at 7, waking up at 3-4 am nursing and going back down until 7. So we decided that we would give it a go! It took a few nights, for him to really get the concept, and then magically he got it! It has basically taken us the whole of the month and even still now we have nights where he wakes up and goes right back down, Then we have nights where we have to go in and resettle him. But for the most part he has got it down and we feel like normal humans again!! I will definitely say that this has been the most rewarding and most awful experience. It is incredible that to see that every challenge we throw at Harrison he succeeds at. But it is a form of torture to hear your child cry. Just minutes, that is all we give him to cry and those minutes really feel like hours! Enter teething and everything gets jumbled up and we have to come up with another plan and strategy! This I am learning is parenting, just when you have it "figured out" it changes. End of story. Take it a day at a time folks, everyday is different!

Side Note... I logged every night of training in my notes on my phone. See Below for said notes. Yeah I am TYPE A WHAT OF IT!! :)